You see the depths of my heart // and You love me the same

my boyfriend is so incredible!

tonight we had a small scuffle over a misunderstanding, and patched that up first thing.

then he said he didn’t really feel like answering questions

(we’re working through a book called “101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged”)

and i was really, really sad.

he absolutely hates talking on the phone, and my unfortunate mumbling problem makes me hard to understand sometimes over the phone, so that was really the only reason.

he suggested waiting until we see each other on friday night to do any more questions, and maybe just stick with texting and talk on his breaks at work and stuff

well, needless to say, me being me i started crying because it’s been almost two weeks and i miss him so much, the idea of having such a surface-level type of relationship even for that short of a time broke me

i told him this, and he relented, and we did a couple of questions and prayed for a long time together, which helped heal some of the disconnected-ness i’ve been fighting with these past couple of weeks!

he’s just awesome, doing something he hates because he loves me

i have to say, having such a deep relationship with another individual is probably one of the absolute hardest things i’ve ever dealt with in my spiritual journey so far.

i struggle with how do i properly balance loving one person so much with also loving God completely, who clearly deserves all of my love, every last bit of it, yet he gave me this man to share that love with

tyler is a wonderful outlet of God’s love for me, but i still continuously struggle with keeping my love for him in check with my love for God.

Paul is certainly right when he encourages people to embrace singleness – it sure was a heck of a lot easier!

but i know tyler was given to me as a huge blessing from God, and he has opened up a part of my heart that i didn’t know i had been keeping closed off until he came along! God did (and does) the same thing. He can see right through to the core of who i am, and yet He loves me all the time. realizing this about Him completely changed my entire life!  thus why i have given Him my life.

i know i’m definitely not alone in feeling this way in my relationship, my other friends who are in serious relationships have expressed the same feelings, but still, it would be nice if we all had an easy button for this 🙂

tyler joshua gunn is a total blessing from God, and i love him so much. i know i can be so impossible and so frustrating at times, yet he sticks with me and fights for me.

i hope to be able to convey my love to him better every day, and i love seeing our relationship grow more as we grow closer to God both together and individually.

thanks if you have read this entire gushy post 🙂